Captain Haddock is one of my most admired men... Why? Probably because of his fiery speech, and wonderful facial expressions. Ever since his first appearance in "The Crab with Golden Claws," he's, over and over, proved himself as a experienced sailor, passionate talker, and a trustworthy friend.
The Crab with Golden Claws
page 58 Captain Haddock: [drunkenly chasing a villain, spots the police] Hooray! The police!... Arrest the Negro!... He's a gangster, a p- p- pirate! He... He beat me with a stick...
Policeman: [who has previously run in to Haddock] It's not a stick you need, it's a wallop with my truncheon!
The Shooting Star
page 40 Captain Haddock: Now you've got your answer! She's the Cithara, owned by the John Kingsby Company. What are you looking for now? Her tonnage? Or her captain's age?
page 40 Captain Haddock: A fake SOS!... Billions of blue blistering barnacles! Pirates! They'll need a distress signal when I get hold of them!
Destination Moon
page 4 Tintin: Hey, driver, what's the meaning of this? Where are you taking us?
Driver: [rudely] Sprodj!
Captain Haddock: [outraged] Sprodj yourself, you bashi-bazouk! You were asked where we're going. Tell us!
page 7 Frank Wolff: Gangsters, Captain? These are ZEPO men!
Captain Haddock: Zepo?� What sort of creature is a zepo?
page 9 Prof Calculus: I�m just completing plans for a nuclear-powered rocket which I propose to land on the moon!
Captain Haddock: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... The Moon! ... Old Calculus on the moon! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... The things you think of! ... The Moon! ... That�s a good one! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... The Moon! ... As easy as pie! ... A man on the Moon! ...You�ll be a man in the moon! Oh! Ho! Ho! ... I haven�t laughed so much for years. ... On the Moon! ... And he�s quite serious about it! ... You old humbug, Calculus! [raising his glass] Here�s to you! ... Ha! Ha! Ha! Passengers for the moon, all aboard the bus! Sorry, the rocket! ... You are taking passengers, I hope?
Calculus: [with a knowing smile] Of course! ... Why else do you think I asked you to join me?
page 34 Captain Haddock: I �m fed up with hanging about here, doing nothing. I ought to have stayed peacefully at Marlinspike, instead of fooling about this dump just to gratify the whims of a mad professor!
page 39 Frank Wolff: Preassure is now doen to zero... You are almost in an absolute vacuum... How are you feeling?
Captain Haddock: Not bad, thanks. And you?
page 39 Captain Haddock: D'you think I did it on purpose? ... I suppose you think my favorite pastime is cracking my heasd against doors? Well, I've had enough! I've had enough of being a playmate for neurotic mice!
page 43 Captain Haddock: [peering at the colossal rocket] Poor Calculus! He must have a screw loose... How do you suppose that monument could get up in the air?... You might just as well play a penny-whistle in front of Nelson�s Column and expect it to dance a samba!
page 57 Mr. Baxter: Goodbye, Captain. I am delighted that a sailor should be one f the first men on the moon!
Captain Haddock: It would have been all the same to me if a piccolo-player had gone!
Explorers on the Moon page 3 Prof Calculus:But this (the Thom(p)sons' presence) creates a grave problem! We assessed our oxygen supplies for four people; now we have six on board, not counting Snowy. Will our oxygen last out?
Captain Haddock: [to the twins] You hear that, you brontosaurus? All that because at your age you don't know the difference between 1:34 AM and 1:34 PM!
page 3 Captain Haddock: [to the Thom(p)son twins] Blistering barnacles! When I think that I was forbidden to smoke one single little pipe on the pretext of saving oxygen�the very same oxygen you too come here and gulp down! ... And stop sniveling like that: you�re making carbon dioxide!.. Thundering typhoons, goodness knows why I don�t chuck you overboard, without any more ado!
page 15 Captain Haddock: And when anyone asks me later on: "What was your job in the rocket?" I�ll say, "Me? I was the hairdresser!" A mop like this doesn�t need a pair of scissors to cut it... It needs pruning-shears, the thousand thundering typhoons, or a lawn-mower!
page 18 Prof Calculus: In half an hour�s time, our rocket will come to rest almost beside the Sea of Nectar.
Thomson: The seadise?... Why, that�s wonderful... It�s ages since we went to the seaside, isn�t it Thompson?
Thompson: It jolly well is!... But I didn�t know there was a seaside resort on the Moon... Did you know that, Captain?
Captain Haddock: Of course! Everybody knows!... I even heard they needed two Punch-and-Judy men on the pier. You�d fit the job perfectly.
page 20 Captain Haddock: Blistering barnacles! You don't have to sleep, you prize purple jellyfishes! You were told to lie down that's all! So jump to it! And get a move on, you dunder-headed Ethelreds!... If the Professor catches you around, he'll probably maroon you on an empty planet...
page 27 Captain Haddock: [to Calculus) Take a look there!... A little bit closer and you�d have been able to throw away our return tickets!
Prof Calculus: A meteorite! How marvelous!
Captain: Oh, so you think marvelous, do you? When we�d have been as flat as pancakes!
Calculus: What do you expect? It�s an occupational hazard!
Captain: Exactly, blistering barnacles! But his isn�t my occupation! Thundering typhoons, I�m a sailor!... And on board a ship, at least you don�t run the risk of having bits of sky falling down all over the place, everytime you bat an eyelid!
page 31 Thompson: Definetly not! We�re alone (outside the rocket).
Captain: Alone!... You�re alone, all right... in a class by yourselves, you
bashi-bazouks!
page 34 Captain Haddock: Whew! It's hot under this flowerpot! I'm absolutely melting!
page 49 Tintin: The sun�s completely vanished. Only the mountain tops are still glowing in the horizon... But it�s not preventing us from seeing, as there�s a wonderful light from the Earth.
Captain: [singing] Pom pom pom ... And the danced ... by the ... light of ... the Earth...
page 47 Captain Haddock: [shouting] Anyway, my little lambs, I'm going to knit you lovely little waistcoats to keep you nice and warm! Hand-made, by thunder! Guaranteed, absolutely perfect!
page 48 Captain Haddock: There! If you succeed in getting yourselves undone, blistering barnacles, I'll sign the pledge and drink nothing but water for the rest of my days!
page 54 Captain Haddock: Ugh! More of those confounded acrobatics! I was dreaming that I was by my fireside at Marlinspike, with my cat on my knee... and instead... [suddenly] WOLFF!� Blistering barnacles, where's Wolff?... His bunk's empty!
Thompson: Don't worry, Captain, I know where Wolff is. He went� he went down to the hold a few minutes ago.
Captain: And you let him go, you nitwitted nine-pin, you? Even when I told you to keep an eye on him?
Thompson: I did keep an eye on him; he told me himself he was going to the hold.
Captain: [to Tintin] And you were so keen to play the big-hearted hero!... Heaven knows what treachery that wolf in sheep's clothing is cooking up for us... [rushing to the porthole] Now, down to the hold, quick! It may not be too late! [climbing down the ladder] what sitting ducks we'll make if our friend decides to have a little target-practice. [reaching the hold] now where's he hiding the gangster! [he sees something] Thousand of thundering typhoons! There! What did I tell you?... look! [a thick bunch of wires are cut] The brute! The cannibal! He's sabotaged the� the things�er.. the doings� I mean, the whatnots!
page 62 Prof Calculus: I promise you that we shall return there (to the Moon)!
Captain Haddock: What? Us go back there? To the Moon? Me go back to the Moon?! May I be turned into a bollard, blistering barnacles, if i so much as set foon in your flying coffin again! D�you hear? You interplanetary goat, you! Never!! I tell you, I�ve learned just one thing from all this: MAN�S PROPER PLACE [trips on a stretcher and falls flat on his nose] IS ON DEAR OLD EARTH!
The Calculus Affair
page 34 Tintin: [Tintin and the Captain are trying to hitchike...] Ah! A car... Lets thumb a lift. [It zooms past them without noticing.]
Captain:
Blackgaurds!... Egoists!... Nitwits!...
Troglodytes!... Polygraphs! It's incredible what cads some drivers are. They see you like that, all alone in the road, and whoosh!... they sweep past! Blistering barnacles, what times we live in!
page 36 Captain: [a car has banged into him and he is lying on the front hood, but unhurt] Bandit!... Anthropophagus!... Steam-roller!... Highwayman!... Traveling at that speed! I suppose you want to break the sound-barrier? You thundering mis-guided missile, you!
page 60-61 Professor Calculus: Do we see my plans!?!? Stars above! THEY�VE GONE! I can�t believe it!
Captain Haddock: You believe what you like, but I�ve had all I can take! OK, you�ve been rescued; but your plans can look after themselves!
The Seven Crystal Balls
page 47
Policeman: [to the Captain] the man they've kidnapped�is he a friend of yours?
Captain Haddock: It's Calculus, you poor loon!... Calculus!... The salt of the earth... with a heart of gold! He's been kidnapped by those devils!... Why? I ask you... Thundering typhoons, d'you know why?
Policeman: Me?... No.
The Castafiore Emerald
page 6 Captain Haddock: [reading a letter from Bianca Castafiore] "My dear young Tintin," bla bla bla... "May your simple and unaffected friend" (not half!) "would invite herself to Marlinspike?" bla bla bla "I shall arrive on the 17th" ... What? Castafiore?! Here!? Cataclysm! Calamity! Catastrophe!
Tintin: [with a smirk] Er... there�s a little postscript for you...
Haddock: [reading again] "Kindest regards to Captain Bartok" [crumpling the letter] Haddock, by thunder, Signora Casteroli!... Haddock!
page 8 Captain Haddock: Luck? If that�s luck, give me disaster!
page 8 Bianca Castafiore: Just as we arrived, dear Tintin was showing someone out. So we didn�t need to ring.
Captain: "We?" There can�t be more than one of you!
page 27 Captain Haddock: [reading from a magazine with incredulity] "Lonliness banished, he never tires of hearing the golden voice, singing her for him the famous Jewel Song, from �Faust�...!!???!!" [crumpling it up] Blistering barnacles! Wait till I get my hands on the miserable molecule of mildew who dreamed up this balderdash!
page 33 Bianca Castafiore: (I have) a series of recitals in the United States, where I shall be staying for two months...
Captain Haddock: [to himself] Poor Americans! What have they done to deserve it?
Bianca Castafiore: Then to South America to conquer the capitals...
Captain: [still to himself] And reduce them to ruins as well!
page 33 Captain Haddock: Emergency!... Take cover! She�s going to sing!
page 58 Tintin: [calling] Captain! Captain!
Captain Haddock: Now what? Has he set the house on fine?
Flight 714
page 11 Captain Haddock: I beg your pardon, but I don�t see what�s so amusing about being in a plane that starts shedding it�s wings in mid-air!
page 35 Captain Haddock: [to himself] If we get out of this mess alive I swear I'll never touch whisky again for a hundred... no, fifty... er, say ten... well, three days... That's a promise!
page 45 Captain Haddock: What on earth is that?
Tintin: A monitor!
Captain Haddock: What�s it doing here, pestilential pachyderm?... Looks as if it escaped from the Ice Age!
page 49 Tintin: For Heaven�s sake, come along, Captain!
Captain Haddock: And be dive-bombed by vampires?... Never! I�m staying here!
page 53 Captain Haddock: And another thing: how is it that we can see our way down here? By rights it should be black as the inside of a cow!
page 53 Tintin: I don�t know. Perhaps there�s a spring of boiling hot water nearby...
Captain Haddock: Maybe they serve cups of tea too!
page 55 Captain: I�m coming! That ectoplasm, Carreidas, he�d better watch out! Purple profiteering jellyfish! He�ll be steak and kidney pudding if I catch him!
Tintin and the Picaros
page 2 Captain Haddock: Billions of blue blistering barnacles!... Some anamorphic aardvark switched my whisky for this... this cleaning fluid!
Tintin: Cleaning fluid?!?
Captain: Well, bottled bilge-water, then... it all tastes much the same...
page 6 Captain: [responding to General Tapioca�s accusations against him] Impossible! Those San Theodolites must be off their tripods!
page 6 Captain Haddock: Gentlemen, these accusations are as grotesque as they are false! Us? Conspirators?� Blue blistering bell-bottomed balderdash!
page 10 Captain Haddock: I�m backing down!... I�m afraid of the truth! All right, you dictatorial duck-billed diplodocus! I�ll show you what sort of stuff I�m made of!
page 17
Manolo: So good to open (the window), señor... air-condition...
Captain Haddock: That may well be so, but I don�t happen to like canned air! Kindly open the window, por favor!
page 23 Captain Haddock: But WHEN are we going to see that confounded fellow Tapioca? After all, that�s the principal reason we came here! Instead of which, for three days, they�ve shuttled us from the Museum of Ethnography to the birthplace of the Great Liberator General Olivaro... then the zoo, then to the cathedral... and what marvel do they have in store for us tomorrow? A confetti-maker for the carnival?... Or perhaps a sombrero factory.
page 38 Professor Calculus: Lucky for you (the electric eel) was only a little one. Big electric eels grow up to a couple of meters long and can stun a herse with a single discharge!
Captain Haddock: Well, lucky for me that I�m not a horse!